Smile, everyone! It makes your face look really good : )
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God and I didn’t.
2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to ME
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
27..Ham and eggs. A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is, there’s no background music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile because I don’t know what the heck is going on.
24/1/2007
I ran into one of my brothers through Christ yesterday. We worked together quite often during my stint at St. Anne’s and we always got along really well. He’s a converted Baptist, and used to have me in stitches with some of the stories he would tell. I loved to hear him talk about his take on the Catholic church, and the differences between what he believed now and the faith he grew up in. After the requisite hug, he immediately asked me when I was coming back to church. It appears that my public speaking skills are greatly missed. Several patrons have asked about me and why I am never a lector or commentator anymore. (Sheesh…these people still remember me? It’s been over six months!) Colin tells me great readers are in really short supply these days at the church (he is preaching to the choir on that one…same song I used to sing…) and the list of volunteers for Children’s Church is down to four or five regulars. Now I think this is a really big statement on the state of St. Anne’s. When it started, there was a two page list of volunteers and the program was fully staffed for every one of the four masses per weekend. There were even volunteers for holiday masses. Within eighteen months this dried out to the same four or five regulars. Colin is one of them. And he is getting burnt. I know this because one of my responsibilities was to make out the schedule for the volunteers and beg for more people. I only succeeded in recruiting four volunteers during my time there. I don’t think that speaks of my recruiting skills. I think it speaks more of the state of that particular congregation. (Let me drop my kid off and YOU make them Catholic in one hour.) This is the way parents felt.
It was a little difficult to ‘let Colin down’ last night. I gently told him a few things, including the fact that I have great respect for the Catholic church and its members. But I also have a new family, and lots and lots of new brothers and sisters through Christ. I choose to spend my time with them on Sundays rather than the Catholics. Yes, I know my girls still go to Catholic mass, and I have no problem with that at all. You don’t seem my estranged there all the time? Can’t answer that one. I call Trinity Bible Church home now. Yes, Dennis is still the pastor. Yes, he is awesome. Got saved? I’m still learning, Colin. I’m not sure about that one. Yes, Colin, I remember well when we were commissioned as Eucharistic ministers together. No, I don’t really miss that part. Yes, I do miss reading to the congregation on Sundays. No, I’m not going back, sweetie. I’ve grown so much in my faith. I know without a doubt that the Catholic religion just doesn’t ‘do it’ for me. I needed it taken a step further.
Colin makes an excellent advocate for the Catholic church. He was disappointed that he couldn’t convince me. I had to laugh. Colin, I said, I’ve been gone for over six months. I have learned much, and continue to learn. I look forward to Sundays. It’s a bit of a let down when services are over because I know that I have to leave. I actually listen to Dennis online during the week to get an extra kick. I even listen to other messages online. I’m not pressured to feel tremendous guilt just because I am awake and breathing. I am HAPPY within my faith, and I look forward with great joy to taking this to the next level, wherever it leads me. Now, Colin, why would I leave this behind…just to go read out of the Bible for five minutes every Sunday to a congregation that, for the most part, doesn’t really give a flip about being there?
Colin couldn’t really say anything. He gotcha good, didn’t he? Well, Riccie, that’s his job. And our great loss. Be happy, my sister.
Thank you, Colin. I am happy with my faith. Ecstatic is a better word. I am one truly one of God’s children. He will not let me down. He never has. I am the one who turns my back. I am learning…
Dumping Blogger
I have decided to cut the cord. It just makes no sense to me to continue to try to nurse something along that has outlived it’s usefulness. I’m a little sad. After all, Blogger is where I got my introduction into the blogging world. Goodbye, Blogger! It was a hoot…
Uh…..
As if my world hasn’t been turned inside out and upside down enough in the past couple of weeks…
I’m leaning against my window…I have it open to breath in some fresh air…who gives a crap that it’s frakkin freezing outside and my heater is on…I’m looking at the familiar sight of my backyard and the wooden fence…
And it hits me…
Holy hell…
It’s snowing outside…
And I live in south Louisiana…
Yep…
Just checked again for the umteenth time…
It sure the frak is snowing…
Somebody slap the crap out of me…now…please…am I awake?????
What other wonderous surprises await me in this brand new year?
In my front yard
I am ravenous right now. Scrambled eggs and toast sound awesome at the moment…but since I’ve been hit the desperate desire to write my fingers off, I just can’t seem to get away from the keyboard. I’m exhausted and will pay for it later this afternoon…I’ve got one of those pesky ‘meetings’ to attend…I hope I don’t fall asleep during the presentation. Sheesh, these nasty little things used to be a semi-weekly occurrence. Now it seems like there is something ‘really important’ every other day. Well, we are in transition at the moment-I guess this just triples the need for these waste of time…oops…I meant to write…meetings…
Scrambled eggs…sound so wonderful…
Must write about thoughts….
I watched my tiny little chihuahua just now interacting a neighbor’s dog. Komando never goes outside without his leash on, in fact, he waits patiently at the door for someone to ‘hook him up’. I am one of those overbearing pet owners who is very particular about their animal. It’s for a good reason, though. I have absolutely no desire to watch Komando become road rash. Chihuahua’s get a wild hair sometimes that make them want to run…and they don’t care where they are running too, they just want to run. Komando has done that to me once. I let him outside before I put his leash on, and it was two hours before I had him back safely in the house. He made me nuts chasing him around the neighborhood. The little frakker will not do that to me again.
It is somewhere in the twenty’s outside right now. Cold? Uh…yep, you could say so. Chihuahua’s hate the cold. Despise it. Komando is no exception. Except when it comes to visiting with our neighbor’s dog. My sweet, young little neighbor has some sort of mixed breed that looks like a german shepard puppy that never grew up. Her name is Toukie (now, I know I am spelling that wrong. It’s some sort of japanese name…my young neighbor is fascinated with japanese names). Toukie escapes her pen every now and then. We have done the neighborly thing and tried to catch Toukie to put her back in her pen several times (my neighbor is in her early twenties and works about 18 hours a day…she’s going to be someone important one of these days.) I think it’s a game for Toukie. She never stays put…roams the neighborhood freely…and enjoys the friendship of most of us down this street. We long since stopped worrying about her.
Toukie seems to be fascinated with Komando. A little bit ago Komando needed to go outside, so I put him out and watched through the window. I knew it wouldn’t take him long to take care of business. Strange enough, Komando didn’t want back in right away. I shifted my focus and realized that Toukie was in the yard. Now I really had to watch carefully, because, as playful and gentle as Toukie is, she’s got about 45 pounds on Komando and can squash him with her paw. Komando doesn’t seem to realize this, though. He is cutting up big time on his leash. Toukie is staying just far enough away to watch my chihuahua dance. It was a scene straight out of one of those old cartoons…where the dog is on the leash and the cat is just outside of reach. After a bit of teasing, Toukie approached Komando carefully, putting one of her paws on his leash and effectively shortened his ‘breathing space.’ This nearly sent Komando into orbit. I got up to go ‘rescue’ him…but found that I was so fascinated by the unfolding scene that I couldn’t move. Toukie wasn’t trying to hurt or be aggressive with Komando. It was more like some sort of experiment. She kept her paw on his leash and just towered over him. Komando was doing everything he could to gain the upper hand, but it was hopeless. I swear, if dogs could smile, Toukie would have lit up my yard. It was as if she knew and understood the power she had over this little guy…and no matter what sort of grief he gave her…it didn’t matter. She held all the cards. She held this pose for a few moments, watching Komando lose the little pea brain he has, and just as quickly, lifted her paw off his his leash and left. I watched her go. I believe Komando was letting out a few choice words in ‘dog language’.
Toukie seemed to possess a gentle confidence about her. She gave Komando every opportunity to calm down and ‘make nice’…but all he did was go insane. And when she realized that ultimately, she had all the power…she gracefully made her exit and didn’t look back. I finally moved to collect my little dog.
That scene has stuck in my head. And I wonder. Is what I witnessed this morning a metaphor for my life right at the moment?
…peeking in your windows and viewing your life…
You have no idea, Brian. Thank you. That one little phrase gave me a whole story to write, so I was up until the wee hours last night (or this morning, take your pick) writing furiously. You know how it is…when something hits, it DEMANDS to be written…and once you start with it…your story will take you to places you’ve never dreamed of…speaking of which…I think I’ve got a few more ideas to play around with. Why, Brian! You have found and returned my muse to me!
Gumbo, Geaux-Geaux, and Deaux-Deaux
Ok. So blogger won’t let me in. HA! I don’t have a lot of time but I did want to jot down a few thoughts. This morning is one frak-ass cold and miserable morning. Funny thing, because yesterday morning I was sitting on my steps in with a cami and a pair of shorts on. It was in the mid 70’s with a nasty overcast sky and the humidity in the air was as heavy as lead. Really, really great on my sinuses. When the rain started the temperature dropped over 30 degrees within three hours. That’s according to the thermometer in my truck. My light jacket also let me know early on that it wasn’t going to be enough to keep me warm. That was yesterday.
This morning when I woke up I went to sit on my steps for my normal morning discussion with Jesus. Only no way could I do that…it was too cold and rainy. So I settled for doing it in the house. As I was looking out of the window, it occured to me that this was a perfect ‘Gumbo, geaux-geaux- and deaux-deaux’ day. For you non-cajuns out there…this is a signal given most of the time by the husband…but the wife can do it, too. It means he wants a good bowl of hot gumbo (wife usually cooks), then some entertainment which could be anything…a movie, some dancing, or messing around in the stores, and after that he intends to enjoy his wife in a night of high passion. Hey, wives enjoy it to. I’ve enjoyed a few of these days throughout my marriage. It kept things interesting. And these sort of days can only happen in the wintertime…when it is actually cold. That’s what makes them really special. Although long ago, there were days during the long hot summers down here my other half had been know to turn the air conditioner as low as he possibly could so he could enjoy one of these days…
Uhmm…yeah. I gotta get ready for work.
I don’t feel like thinking today…
So, thank you, RaggedyAnn. Some of these things are really fun 
1. What is your occupation? Customer Relations for a major telecom company.
2. What color are your socks right now? White.
3. What are you listening to right now?? Animal Planet on the tv. Yeah, Mandy is out of school today.
4. What is the last thing you ate? A cup of coffee. Yeah. Coffee is food!
5. Can you drive a stick shift?? Oh hell yeah!
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?? Red
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Ashley
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Like her?! I love her!
9. How old are you today?? 42
10. Favorite Drink? toss up…black coffee or Coke
11. What is your favorite sport to watch?? Colorguard…with ice skating a close second
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes..of course..I am 42..duh..
14. Pets?? Yes. One.
15. Favorite food?? A great hamburger.
16. What was the last movie you watched?? Serenity
17. Favorite day of the year??? Christmas Eve
18. What do you do to vent anger? I usually pull it inside and make myself sick.
19. What was your favorite toy as a child?? Do books count? My escape mechanism…
20. What is your favorite season: Definitely the fall…
21. Hugs or kisses?? Uhmm…kisses…
22. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries
23. Do you want your friends to email you back??? Of course, whenever they want to
24. Who is most likely to respond?? Guess who ever is up to it…lol
25. Who is least likely to respond? not sure…
26. Living arrangements? Every changing at the moment…soon to smooth out…
27. When was the last time you cried?? last night
28. What is on the floor of your closet? my shoes
29. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this too?? I’m posting instead, sweetie. And YOU are…we’ve known each other for how many years now? LOL
30. What did you do last night? Uhm…what I usually do…work
31. Favorite smells?? Bath and Body Works Brown Sugar Vanilla
32. What inspires you?? Jesus Christ of Nazareth
33. What are you afraid of? My safety…and snakes…
34. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
35. Favorite dog breed? Chi Wa Wa….Chihuahua
36. Number of keys on your key ring? 7
37. How many years at your current job? That would be six in total…with a break in between…
38. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
39. How many states have you lived in? 6
40. Favorite holiday?? Christmas
41. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?? Nope. But got to ride both…uh…does a Combine count? I’ve driven a huge-ass combine in a rice field…
42. Who’s your favorite NFL team? Dallas Cowboys, of course…even though they sorta suck now
43. Do you have a house phone that is NOT cordless? I have no house phone. Completely wireless I am.
44. 10 inches of snow or 100 degree weather?? Snow, baby! ANY day!
45. Any tattoos?? Not no but HELL no. Not my style.
Blogger, Blogger…wherefore art thou blogger…
Ya win some, ya lose some. I haven’t been able to access my blogger account all day. I’ll be disappointed if it’s dumped unceremoniously by Blogger. Hell, at least give me the pleasure to do that. I’m happy to have met Brian (hi, sweetie) and learned about wordpress. I’m thinking I’ll be getting a lot more use out of this blog now.
I feel sorta hollow inside…empty….and even with that, I feel a tiny, intense feeling of anger. I’m trying to control it, so I’ll see how long I will be able to do that. Today I experienced some problems with panic/anxiety. I had to pop a few magic pills…thank goodness I have them. It took a wee bit of time but I was able to calm down. I can’t afford to become unglued at this point.
Since Sunday afternoon I feel as if I’ve gotten onto a runaway roller-coaster. I can’t decide if it’s a really great thing, or a really scary thing. Most likely a case of both. But I’m hanging on for the ride. Life will always take such unexpected turns.
I’m exhausted, had a long day at work today, and am irritated with ‘Myspace’. Maybe tomorrow I’ll look into it more. I’ve got the day off tomorrow. HA! That only means I don’t have to show up for work. I’m bringing my truck in for a tune up and inspection. That ought to be a thrill a second….but I have to make sure my truck is in good condition….because I’m about to put a few miles on it
